The Truth about being Raw

 

I try really hard NOT to mention names in my blog. Those that I speak about know who they are! I don’t think it’s necessary to smear everyone else’s thoughts/feelings that they share with me all over my blog! =)

 

Without mentioning names, someone I don’t really know, but I am getting to know, made me feel really good about my writing the other night. She made me feel like I am not alone. Not that I have felt alone, because I certainly have had the family & friends present during this; which I am thankful for. But you see, as I have learned over the past 10 weeks, there are MILLIONS of woman out there, suffering from a “silent” loss or a “silent” miscarriage. By silent, I mean they don’t talk about. Many people that they talk to in their daily lives, don’t even know they have suffered such a loss.

It made my heart very happy to hear in ONE DAY-2 different people tell me “Thanks for writing your blog, you are saying things that I have felt for a long time, but haven’t been able to say”. It made me feel really great that they no longer feel alone. It made me feel a tiny bit of peace, that there are others out there sharing the same feelings, even if our losses were in a different format.

 

It breaks my heart every day to see pregnant woman doing things that potentially could harm their unborn child, or even themselves. It breaks my heart even MORE to watch people abusing their children in public (Not that I condone it in private either, I am just saying-the ones we can SEE while out shopping, or wherever). Better yet, people that do not WANT children, but continue having them and not taking care of them.

 

Having said that, I feel so very helpless when I talk to a number of my friends that are trying so desperately to become parents, but can’t. Or my handful of friends that are experiencing symptoms so early in life that is making it impossible for them to bare a child. Or even those of my friends that have tried many options available to extend their family, but nothing gone as planned.

 

I am not mentioning all of these things to bring up hurtful feelings that some of you readers have. I am saying this to get to a “thank you”.

 

Thank you for reaching out to me, in this terrible time or emptiness & pain, to share with me your stories. Thank you for showing me, that while I am experiencing a loss, some of you are also. Maybe not the loss of giving birth to a child and losing him or her, but a loss very similar to my emptiness. It is very humbling to understand that there are many people in my immediate circle of friends and family that are suffering the same feelings, but for different reasons. I thank you, for empathizing with my feelings about losing Ian & Owen. Thank you for sympathizing with my loss of words sometimes, or my “too many words” sometimes. Thank you for sharing with me, the struggles that you are enduring daily, weekly, or hourly in your own personal & family life-to help me better understand, even in my sadness, I am not alone in this journey!

 

In addition..

 

Many have asked how to “renovation” is coming along…

Well, as I told you the other night, we bought the tile. Since then..we’ve brough the tile inside! =) That’s about it! Thanks for inquiring. I will keep posts coming about the room progress.

 

Emotional progress-I’ve been able to get distracted this week with soccer games, practice, PTA responsibilities & “team mom” responsibilities that I’ve allowed myself to stay consumed. Fear not though…the weekend is always a killer for me. =)