Another round of therapy

Satan’s holes
open my tormented soul
to the light of God’s grace
that I, and others,
–through my brokenness–
more clearly may see
His face.

So,I found another form of therapy....

It is called-PTA meetings! Somehow, when I attend them, I volunteer for things! =) I love it though-because it's a great way for me to keep my mind busy!

I have noticed-as with anyone dealing with any kind of problem-empty minds are a BAD thing. Free time, is a VERY bad thing. Having something to do at all times has been very important for me. So, I am figuring out this year, how to balance my job (which those of you that know me know this can be a challenge most days beacause there is a lot going on currently @ work), 2 boys in soccer, new PTA responsibilities and responsibilities with soccer teams and coordination! Along with a few weddings, some photo shoots, being Maid of honor for my best friend and a host of other things! I'm loving it-I really am. BUt, doing this and grieving are difficult at the same time. SOme days, I can't figure out how to put one foot infront of the other-much less try to plan and organize! Other days, seem to coast along OK and those are the days where I throw myself in 100% to the activities I've commited to!

I can typically stay on track, until triggers happen-like seeing pregnant people, or getting messages from my friends who are expecting. Even getting updates from my other twin pregnancy mothers-I love them all & am wishing the very best for their pregnancies, but it is hard to hear their stories. Another one of them delivered over the weekend. I got the pictures of Jackson and Isabell today. They were born @ 33 weeks and doing just fine. I am so happy for them-but it was so hard to see them too! MAde me wonder if they boys would still be hanging on, or if they'd  be like most other twin pregnancies and come early!

I know-a lot of you are thinking to yourself "stop doing the what-if game". Well-all I can say to you is-Live this life for ONE DAY, better yet, one hour-and tell me how you feel! =) Just saying...

Thanks again for the continued support. Today was a good day-just getting a lot of my "commitments" taken care of!

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