We've been saying for the last 2 years "We need to get to Disney while the kids are good ages". But of course, sports, money, life, jobs & so many other things just kept popping up making it a "maybe someday"  kind of priority. Then, on June 24th, when we lost the twins, one of the 1st things we thought of in the coming weeks was "well, now is as good of a time as any". So, in November Thanksgiving week of 2011-we are in Disney. It's bittersweet sort of. We normally wouldn't be here, had it not been for the life changing event of losing Ian & Owen. That was our deciding factor. We NEEDED a break from life. We NEEDED some time to regroup. We NEEDED to leave home for a little while and have something/anything to concentrate on that did NOT revolve around all of the stresses in our current life. I've not given myself the chance in the last 5 days to dwell on all that's going on @ home. But, as the week is coming to an abrupt close I can't help but find myself wondering into the "work" mode again. Thinking about schedules, things that need to be done, the already feeling of regret of all of the money Disney takes to make it happen! LOL. There's a lot of STUFF back home that I'm not ready to get back to. I know even a few more days won't help because when I get back, those things will be there waiting for me.

Christmas is one of those things. It USED to be my FAVORITE time of year. I assume one day, it will become that for me again. I am so far from the Christmas spirit this year than I've ever been. It's so hard to get into the mood for Christmas music, lights, gifts, etc! I'm just not in the spirit this year. It's not ALL because of Ian & Owen's passing. Like I've mentioend above, there are many other things going on in our immediate life.

This year will be hard for me. I want to enjoy the HOliday season as much as possible and I want to make sure it's magical for Isaac & Caleb-but it will be hard this year to put the smile on & enjoy-it will feel more like going through the motions....

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