We have made it to 16 weeks (and a few days)
This is a HUGE milestone! It’s also a nerve racking one because this puts us closer to the 20 weeks when Ian & Owen were born.
I am trying not to compare pregnancies, but I now have in my head that I know 20 weeks will be an even BIGGER accomplishment. I also know that everyday PAST 20 days will be touch & go for me until we are WAY later in pregnancy and a little “safer”.
I did not realize until after Ian & Owen were born, how many children each DAY are born either prematurely, or with problems during childbirth, or even carried to term but resulting in a “cord accident” during delivery.
The AMOUNT of possibilities is enormous, but I am choosing to take the positive route and believe that we are doing great.
The baby is growing @ a crazy fast rate right now. I know the more children you’ve had, the more “pregnant” you appear earlier in your pregnancy. I definitely can look down & see my little boy or girl so it gives me some assurance I think because it’s a visible reminder of this pregnancy. My blood pressure is back to normal too. I had a rough few weeks emotionally with the magnitude of things happening in our life. I have come to the understanding that I simply can’t and won’t push myself this go-round. If that means that dog hair piles up around the steps or dishes sit for a day or 2 in the sink, or laundry piles up in the floor then so be it. Although, I have a pretty fantastic husband that does so much around the house even when I am not pregnant, I know that he won’t let it get that bad! =)
I’ve even made the decision to not continue doing things I simply can’t do right now @ work. I’ve made the choice to stop trying to be everything for a little while, and just concentrate on THIS child. (and my other ones as well of course).
We are coming up on our “Gender scan”! While I still am standing behind the fact that I don’t want to know, I think Cris is back on the fence headed back to MY side. I think he wants to wait until later in the pregnancy to find out what we are having. I can certainly see his point in waiting. If we find out now (or HE finds out) then there becomes a certain level of excitement that you don’t quit get to when you aren’t aware of what you’re having. I don’t mean disconnecting from the pregnancy, but it helps to stay a LITTLE more detached from it. I am SURE this sounds terrible, but if you’ve ever lost a baby-it makes 100% total sense.
My mind plays games with me right now. Part of me says “don’t get too excited, because this could end quickly, just like it did with the twins” Then the other part says “ Enjoy it while it lasts, even if it only last a few weeks, enjoy it while it’s here”.
Oh the joys of a subsequent pregnancy. I guess I expected all of this. I just was hoping after a few milestones, it would be a little bit easier. There are SO MANY success stories about births after a loss-but you NEVER think anything can happen to you. I can walk around as proof that bad things DO happen to those that don’t expect it.
We’ve still got a LONG road to go-If we make it to term, I still have 23 weeks @ 4 days (but who is counting?) Ha-Ha
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