Bittersweet day
The very first thing I saw on Facebook this morning, was a post from my "friend" Kara.
Kara & I were both part of a birthboard on babycenter.com. We both, I THINK started in the Novemer 2011 board and moved to the November 2011 twins board when we found out we were having twins. I am not 100% sure of her due-date but I know we were close together. When Ian & Owen were born on June 24th-Kara was one of the 1st to express her condolences. In the few short weeks that passed (Or long weeks, however you'd like to look @ it), I learned that her beautiful boys had been born also. Elijah & Ethan. Unfortunately (and I do NOT know the entire story or what all transpired) Ethan lived for a short time & joined Ian & Owen in Heaven.
Kara's post this morning, was a "Milestone" to those of us dealing with such heartache. Today was 5 months for her since she lost Ethan.
That just sounds like words to some people, I realize. But in our "world" it's a horrible day full of tears and emptiness. I've never personally MET Kara-but we've had several FB conversation and we share so many of the same emotions when it comes to our boys. My heart just sank this morning when I read this-because I understand exactly how blank her eyes were when she typed that status this morning.
I know how I feel every time I open my eyes. Even carrying this new baby that will soon be part of our family, my mind is constantly on the twins.
I sat there for the longest time debating on wether to even post something to Kara today-to let her know I felt her sorrow, or just to not say anything-because sometimes, saying the WRONG thing can be horrible. I understand how she's feeling, but I do not KNOW the extent of her pain, as we all grieve differently.
I am a little lost in my thoughts tonight-as so many things swirl through my head-All of the GOOD things that I wish for 2012 but still hurting for the things that happened in 2011. I can only hope that in 2012, the bad things will start to shed away....It would be nice to be able to enjoy SOME of this pregnancy and enjoy our family without the stress of everything else going on in our lives. It would be nice to have those things that have been holding us back just melt away..
Oh, one could wish, right?
Kara & I were both part of a birthboard on babycenter.com. We both, I THINK started in the Novemer 2011 board and moved to the November 2011 twins board when we found out we were having twins. I am not 100% sure of her due-date but I know we were close together. When Ian & Owen were born on June 24th-Kara was one of the 1st to express her condolences. In the few short weeks that passed (Or long weeks, however you'd like to look @ it), I learned that her beautiful boys had been born also. Elijah & Ethan. Unfortunately (and I do NOT know the entire story or what all transpired) Ethan lived for a short time & joined Ian & Owen in Heaven.
Kara's post this morning, was a "Milestone" to those of us dealing with such heartache. Today was 5 months for her since she lost Ethan.
That just sounds like words to some people, I realize. But in our "world" it's a horrible day full of tears and emptiness. I've never personally MET Kara-but we've had several FB conversation and we share so many of the same emotions when it comes to our boys. My heart just sank this morning when I read this-because I understand exactly how blank her eyes were when she typed that status this morning.
I know how I feel every time I open my eyes. Even carrying this new baby that will soon be part of our family, my mind is constantly on the twins.
I sat there for the longest time debating on wether to even post something to Kara today-to let her know I felt her sorrow, or just to not say anything-because sometimes, saying the WRONG thing can be horrible. I understand how she's feeling, but I do not KNOW the extent of her pain, as we all grieve differently.
I am a little lost in my thoughts tonight-as so many things swirl through my head-All of the GOOD things that I wish for 2012 but still hurting for the things that happened in 2011. I can only hope that in 2012, the bad things will start to shed away....It would be nice to be able to enjoy SOME of this pregnancy and enjoy our family without the stress of everything else going on in our lives. It would be nice to have those things that have been holding us back just melt away..
Oh, one could wish, right?
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