Today, a very special friend of mine is "honoring" 5 years since she lost her little girl Peyton.
This special friend has been so involved in the loss of Ian, Owen & Maddox and was often the ONLY person that I spoke to about anything. We used to work for the same company, but in different states. Shortly after I came on board, she accepted a job elsewhere, so when we worked in the same company, I did not really KNOW her. We were brought together after the loss of the twins, and I am forever grateful for her presence in my life. She drove in 8 inches of snow in flip flops at 12 midnight when I texted her that I was headed to the hospital for Maddox, THREE HOURS she drove in the middle of the night and THIS was the 1st time we actually met in person. She has been a major source of support and love and I can honestly say, I could not have made it this far without her in my life. There have been MANY MANY of you like this in my life, but today, I am going to honor her and her little girl by writing this blog in
PINK!
She's made it 5 years, so it gives me hope that I can make it to the year anniversary in just 2 weeks.
It really doesn't seem like it's possible that is has been a year since my life was turned into such a mess. I have been so incredibly up and down in the past couple of weeks with anxiety about this. I've made a decision that during the weekend of their "birth/death" anniversary, I do not want to do A N Y T H I N G. I know some choose to "honor" their childs life and have a party, or a family gathering. Some do balloon releases, or plan flowers and/or trees.
I don't want to do anything. I just want to lock myself in my house and not deal with it. I'm sure to some people that means I don't care, but I assure you, that is the farthest from the truth. I don't really WANT to deal with it, so I am going to choose not to.
I am blessed to realize, that I am the only one that can possibly remember how sweet those baby boys smelled as newborns, all 3 of them. I regret that I wasn't able to spend as much time with Maddox as I was with Ian & Owen, but I am so blessed for the memories that only I had with them. I will choose to remember those in private on that day.
This special friend has been so involved in the loss of Ian, Owen & Maddox and was often the ONLY person that I spoke to about anything. We used to work for the same company, but in different states. Shortly after I came on board, she accepted a job elsewhere, so when we worked in the same company, I did not really KNOW her. We were brought together after the loss of the twins, and I am forever grateful for her presence in my life. She drove in 8 inches of snow in flip flops at 12 midnight when I texted her that I was headed to the hospital for Maddox, THREE HOURS she drove in the middle of the night and THIS was the 1st time we actually met in person. She has been a major source of support and love and I can honestly say, I could not have made it this far without her in my life. There have been MANY MANY of you like this in my life, but today, I am going to honor her and her little girl by writing this blog in
PINK!
She's made it 5 years, so it gives me hope that I can make it to the year anniversary in just 2 weeks.
It really doesn't seem like it's possible that is has been a year since my life was turned into such a mess. I have been so incredibly up and down in the past couple of weeks with anxiety about this. I've made a decision that during the weekend of their "birth/death" anniversary, I do not want to do A N Y T H I N G. I know some choose to "honor" their childs life and have a party, or a family gathering. Some do balloon releases, or plan flowers and/or trees.
I don't want to do anything. I just want to lock myself in my house and not deal with it. I'm sure to some people that means I don't care, but I assure you, that is the farthest from the truth. I don't really WANT to deal with it, so I am going to choose not to.
I am blessed to realize, that I am the only one that can possibly remember how sweet those baby boys smelled as newborns, all 3 of them. I regret that I wasn't able to spend as much time with Maddox as I was with Ian & Owen, but I am so blessed for the memories that only I had with them. I will choose to remember those in private on that day.
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