We had a "not really snow yet snow day" on Friday! The county where we live closed schools because it was calling for snow. I am thankful that they did because infact it did snow. However, my thankfulness comes more in the way that I got to spend some special time with my boys. We started our morning with a pedicure *yes, a pedicure for my BOYS*-don't judge me! Then we went to Chuck-e-cheese for 2-3 hours until I felt it was best we leave to get home safetly.
I know you're still stuck on the pedicure part....so let me explain. Last year (or year before), Caleb went with me one time because we were out running errands, I wanted a pedicure, I had my son, he wanted one, he got one. Well....lo and behold, the child loved it and couldn't get enough. He talked it up so much to Isaac that he then wanted one. So, I took him! It then became just a "thing we do". Do they color? You know you are thinking it...
Why yes, yes they do! Caleb is way more excentric than Isaac of course and gets the glitter an the designs and such. Isaac sticks with either no color, or a one bright color-like a lime green or yellow. If you know him, you know those wild bright colors are his.
Well, Fridays' pedicure was special. Not just because I was sharing that amazing time with them....I got to "meet" a mom-to-baby boy #2 to be. I don't know that I ever caught her name, but we struck up a conversation. Isaac was in between us and I think the conversation started with something like "are you enjoying it" from her to Isaac or something of that nature. We just started a conversation...and she shared that she was having her 2nd boy and that she is 7 1/2 months along. Some how, we got into "do you have any girls", and my response flew out of my mouth that " I do not have girls, 5 births, and all 5 are boys". It spilled out before my mind had a chance to stop my mouth from talking. (Yes, I realize this is more often the case then not with me).
I ended up sharing my story with her, and sharing the web address for this blog. I hope, whoever she is, that she gets a chance to sit down & read this story. I was so excited for her because she looked so at peace and excited for her new baby boy. She has a 2 year old currently, so her life is about to be super busy!
The reason I want her to read this...is because I want anyone and everyone to remember to be blessed by the small things. Not that I do a good job of feeling blessed, because we all know that isn't true. BUT, when people sit and stare @ us while we are getting pedicures because they are boys, I want to scream at the top of my lungs that "these are the precious moments I will cherish". Yes, I realize, they are boys. They don't "typically" get pedicures at such a young age. No, I am not holding them against their will to do it. They enjoy it, and I enjoy the uninterupted no cell phone, no ipod, no kindle fire time with them. We get to sit there, and laugh as their feet are tickled by the pumus stone. We talk about their days. We talk about how the chair feels so good as it massages their backs. We talk about how much the ENJOY having that time and how they love getting their feet lotioned and takenc are of. THESE ARE THE MOMENTS that are important in my life. I don't ever want a moment to go by that I can't love these times with them without being judged. I enjoy them, because I feel 1st hand simply how short this life time can be and how quickly they will grow up and I will no longer have my little boys to do these "no snow yet snow days" with.
This girl from the nail salon, was bursting with joy and peace. I pray she will be able to enjoy her baby, and her 2 year old to the fullest of her ability. She was so excited for this new experience, and I hope my story was able to provide for her some kind of reminder to take it each day and sometime moment at a time as she embarks on this crazy new ride.
Along with a feeling of pure joy of getting to spend some time with my boy on Friday, I was also confronted with an ugly "truth". Long story short...I had to tell someone no to doing something this weekend because I had high hopes for things to be done and a busy agenda as we typically do on the weekends. Well, I wasn't intended to be a part of the conversation that followed my "no" response clearly because it was to someone else saying I am selfish.
You know what? That's probably true. But, as most of those "don't judge me unless you've walked in my shoes" sayings go....don't judge me! Yes, I probably am selfish. But, I get only a few short peaceful weekends in my life. Ones not filled with basketball, friends, sleepovers, grocery store runs, beakfast lunch and dinner making, house cleaning and piles of laundry. I go and go and go all of the time working a full time job and dealing with all of this other crap I listed above, but it's MY crap, and I love it. However, I don't often tell people NO to doing anything. I try to help in the PTA, I try to help in our local recreation club, I volunteer to do things at school for the kids, I try to stay involved in everything they do. They do clubs after school such as chess, running and art club. While it doesn't really work into my daily work schedule, I make it work so they CAN do these things. We are constantly on the run with something and I don't often say NO. For once, to tell someone NO and then be called selfish-really cut deep. Maybe I am, but I deserve to be. I spend enough time making sure that everyone else is taken care of and everyone else is happy.....I deserve to be able to say NO everyonce in awhile. If you don't like hearing this, and you are reading it saying "whew, she is selfish and self centered' please let me know, because I think we need to re-evaluate our friendship/relationship! I am not in the market for judgemental people in my life that can't support me for what I am, and understand my reasons for saying NO sometimes.
There are people in this world with way deeper emotional issues than I could ever even imagine. We all walk a different long dirt road that simply seems to have no end sometimes. My problems are no more important than yours, or anyone elses. But, I have learned in 2 years, that my problems are MY problems and I am not going to hold back just for the fear of not relating to everyone.
This time last year, I was 5 months pregnant with Maddox Garrison. I was getting ready to celebrate my 29th birthday and I was healing from the sting of losing Ian & Owen. (Yea, this means I am getting ready to celebrate my 30th, and no, I am not ok with that).
The next few weeks will be difficult. After Feb 23rd, I will have gotten through all of the "firsts" after the deaths of Ian, Owen & Maddox. I've celebrated/mourned the 1st Christmas without them, the 1st New years without them, and Ian & Owens first birthday without them. I will mourn and celebrate Maddox' 1 year with his angel wings on Feb 23rd. 5 days prior, I will celebrate my 30th Birthday. God sure has had a sense of humor in my 30 years of life. I sure hope he lightens up for the next 3o. I think I've been given all the patience one person can stand in a lifetime.
I know you're still stuck on the pedicure part....so let me explain. Last year (or year before), Caleb went with me one time because we were out running errands, I wanted a pedicure, I had my son, he wanted one, he got one. Well....lo and behold, the child loved it and couldn't get enough. He talked it up so much to Isaac that he then wanted one. So, I took him! It then became just a "thing we do". Do they color? You know you are thinking it...
Why yes, yes they do! Caleb is way more excentric than Isaac of course and gets the glitter an the designs and such. Isaac sticks with either no color, or a one bright color-like a lime green or yellow. If you know him, you know those wild bright colors are his.
Well, Fridays' pedicure was special. Not just because I was sharing that amazing time with them....I got to "meet" a mom-to-baby boy #2 to be. I don't know that I ever caught her name, but we struck up a conversation. Isaac was in between us and I think the conversation started with something like "are you enjoying it" from her to Isaac or something of that nature. We just started a conversation...and she shared that she was having her 2nd boy and that she is 7 1/2 months along. Some how, we got into "do you have any girls", and my response flew out of my mouth that " I do not have girls, 5 births, and all 5 are boys". It spilled out before my mind had a chance to stop my mouth from talking. (Yes, I realize this is more often the case then not with me).
I ended up sharing my story with her, and sharing the web address for this blog. I hope, whoever she is, that she gets a chance to sit down & read this story. I was so excited for her because she looked so at peace and excited for her new baby boy. She has a 2 year old currently, so her life is about to be super busy!
The reason I want her to read this...is because I want anyone and everyone to remember to be blessed by the small things. Not that I do a good job of feeling blessed, because we all know that isn't true. BUT, when people sit and stare @ us while we are getting pedicures because they are boys, I want to scream at the top of my lungs that "these are the precious moments I will cherish". Yes, I realize, they are boys. They don't "typically" get pedicures at such a young age. No, I am not holding them against their will to do it. They enjoy it, and I enjoy the uninterupted no cell phone, no ipod, no kindle fire time with them. We get to sit there, and laugh as their feet are tickled by the pumus stone. We talk about their days. We talk about how the chair feels so good as it massages their backs. We talk about how much the ENJOY having that time and how they love getting their feet lotioned and takenc are of. THESE ARE THE MOMENTS that are important in my life. I don't ever want a moment to go by that I can't love these times with them without being judged. I enjoy them, because I feel 1st hand simply how short this life time can be and how quickly they will grow up and I will no longer have my little boys to do these "no snow yet snow days" with.
This girl from the nail salon, was bursting with joy and peace. I pray she will be able to enjoy her baby, and her 2 year old to the fullest of her ability. She was so excited for this new experience, and I hope my story was able to provide for her some kind of reminder to take it each day and sometime moment at a time as she embarks on this crazy new ride.
Along with a feeling of pure joy of getting to spend some time with my boy on Friday, I was also confronted with an ugly "truth". Long story short...I had to tell someone no to doing something this weekend because I had high hopes for things to be done and a busy agenda as we typically do on the weekends. Well, I wasn't intended to be a part of the conversation that followed my "no" response clearly because it was to someone else saying I am selfish.
You know what? That's probably true. But, as most of those "don't judge me unless you've walked in my shoes" sayings go....don't judge me! Yes, I probably am selfish. But, I get only a few short peaceful weekends in my life. Ones not filled with basketball, friends, sleepovers, grocery store runs, beakfast lunch and dinner making, house cleaning and piles of laundry. I go and go and go all of the time working a full time job and dealing with all of this other crap I listed above, but it's MY crap, and I love it. However, I don't often tell people NO to doing anything. I try to help in the PTA, I try to help in our local recreation club, I volunteer to do things at school for the kids, I try to stay involved in everything they do. They do clubs after school such as chess, running and art club. While it doesn't really work into my daily work schedule, I make it work so they CAN do these things. We are constantly on the run with something and I don't often say NO. For once, to tell someone NO and then be called selfish-really cut deep. Maybe I am, but I deserve to be. I spend enough time making sure that everyone else is taken care of and everyone else is happy.....I deserve to be able to say NO everyonce in awhile. If you don't like hearing this, and you are reading it saying "whew, she is selfish and self centered' please let me know, because I think we need to re-evaluate our friendship/relationship! I am not in the market for judgemental people in my life that can't support me for what I am, and understand my reasons for saying NO sometimes.
There are people in this world with way deeper emotional issues than I could ever even imagine. We all walk a different long dirt road that simply seems to have no end sometimes. My problems are no more important than yours, or anyone elses. But, I have learned in 2 years, that my problems are MY problems and I am not going to hold back just for the fear of not relating to everyone.
This time last year, I was 5 months pregnant with Maddox Garrison. I was getting ready to celebrate my 29th birthday and I was healing from the sting of losing Ian & Owen. (Yea, this means I am getting ready to celebrate my 30th, and no, I am not ok with that).
The next few weeks will be difficult. After Feb 23rd, I will have gotten through all of the "firsts" after the deaths of Ian, Owen & Maddox. I've celebrated/mourned the 1st Christmas without them, the 1st New years without them, and Ian & Owens first birthday without them. I will mourn and celebrate Maddox' 1 year with his angel wings on Feb 23rd. 5 days prior, I will celebrate my 30th Birthday. God sure has had a sense of humor in my 30 years of life. I sure hope he lightens up for the next 3o. I think I've been given all the patience one person can stand in a lifetime.
my 30th was my best. It can be your best, too! MAKE IT! :) Love you!
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