Life After

Tonight is the night I've been waiting for, for quit some time now. Tonight is breakdown night! I got on the computer-trying to find some comfort, peace, or even something to trigger the tears, because they have been sitting at a distance just waiting for the time when I can spend 5 minutes to fall apart. This is the first thing I ran into: While I Am not sure if this song was written for a greiving mother, or as a Christian song speaking of Jesus, to me, it had so many deep emotional meanings. The lyrics are as follows I'm down on my knees again tonight Hoping this prayer will turn out right. See there is a boy that needs your help I've done all that I can do myself. HIs mother is tired, I'm sure you can understand Each night as he sleeps, she goes into hold his hand and she tries, not to cry, as the tears fill her eyes Can you hear me? Am I getting through tonight? Can you see him? Can you make him feel alright? If you can hear me, let me take his...

I hate how hard some days are…   I long to hold a baby   It’s hard. It’s emotional. It makes my heart hurt.   I have pregnant friends and family members. It’s hard-I have a hard time supporting and listening to their stories. It’s at no fault of their own but it doesn’t make it less hard on my heart.   I’ve been spending a lot of time with my friend lately. I won’t call her by name on my blog because it is a public blog and I don’t want to “incriminate” her. She & her fantastic family have been a wonderful distraction for me lately. She’s given me the chance to remember how I felt years and years ago before the “real world” made me what I am now.   Today has been a “cry all day” kind of day. I’ve been so used to having Cris around the last several months since he left his previous job, that his going back to work and traveling has been really tough emotionally. He has been really the only person I’ve spent all of my waking hou...