Life After

I swear some days I have so many things going through my mind that I want to put on paper and I just can't get it to come together where it would make sense.  I have poured my heart into my job for the last 4 years, because it was the only place where I felt I had some kind of control of what was going on around me.  At home, I had no control over the fact that sin had come into my marriage. In my body, I had no control over my children dying in my arms. In my friendships, relationships and family, I had no control of their opinions, their thoughts, their feelings. Everything around me felt like this weird out of body experience where everything happened in slow motion and all i could do was stand still and watch it happen.  At least at work, I was able to control my surroundings. I was able to talk to people who had no idea that my husband had just left me, or my kids had just died. I was able to talk to customers on the phone that didn't see ME. They didn't see wh...